[MOST NAMES OF PEOPLE AND PLACES HAVE BEEN CHANGED][IN CASE YOU COULDN'T TELL]
Hello, sports fans! It is I, Mother Eisenberg, here in Privet Drive on my round the world trip with Father Eisenberg, visiting with our Annie. We are in Magnolia Crescent, our first stop, and I have told Annie how many people on her unblog mailing list have personally begged and pleaded with me to get her to write another installment. She has agreed to sit down with me for an interview. So here she is, Annie Eisenberg, in her own words.
ME: Annie, what have you been up to this summer?
AE: Several things. Thanks for asking. I started the summer off with the arrival of Hermione Granger, at the end of May. (Editor’s note: Hermione Granger is Annie’s high school, college and post college friend from Ithaca.) The residents of Little Whinging welcomed Hermione into their bosom (Editor’s note: objection to this phrase shot down by Annie). We spent about a week puttering around Little Whinging and spending awkward times sitting at my friends’ houses and having them harangue Hermione about what words she knew in Arabic. And after a month, Hermione did indeed build up a significant Arabic vocabulary. In mid-June, we went to in-service training, otherwise known as IST, in The Burrow, which is a coastal city in southern Privet Drive, north of Ottery St. Catchpole, which we are forbidden to visit. The other PCVs and I spent the week “training” while Hermione [CENSORED so as not to incriminate the interviewee]. On the plus side, however, Hermione met all of my colleagues and they all expressed surprise at my having such a nice friend.
ME: What happened after that?
AE: I spent about two weeks in my site doing nothing but watching t.v. with Hermione. Hermione went home at the end of June and we are no longer on speaking terms. Just kidding. Or am I?
ME: Annie, that was your last friend!
AE: I said just kidding. Or am I? Anyway, I went straight from Hermione’s departure in Stoatshead Hill to a warden’s conference in Magnolia Crescent. But that’s boring, although it’s always nice to see friends. Of which I do, in fact, have many, due to being extremely popular. And pretty.
ME: Thank goodness. What next?
AE: Then I had about a day and then Luna Lovegood and her friend came from Diagon Alley where they were studying Darija and Arabic respectively. (Editor’s note: Luna is another Ithacan, daughter of Draco who works with Father Eisenberg.) It was a pleasant weekend involving couscous and an impromptu dance party with Hasnaa (Editor’s note: Annie has never spelled this name this way before–formerly known as Hessnah or maybe Hesina.) I find this tedious, Mother.
ME: You promised! Just a few more questions. I’m begging you. The people want to know!
AE: Then I had two weeks at camp in Hogsmeade, which is a couple of hours south of Magnolia Crescent on the coast.
ME: What did you do there?
AE: A colleague and I led theater club, which involved activities and games that tended not to interest half of the children, but we did our best. Also we had a nightly dance party. The food was really bad, and I shared a room with eight very smelly PCVs.
ME: Yecch. Then?
AE: Then I went back to my site for three days and then embarked upon a vacation with Cho, Ginny, and Dolores, all of whom I met up with in Godric's Hollow, which is in northern Privet Drive. They are all PCVs. Cho used to be referenced as Lip Pouty girl, but we are friends now, so she no longer has that nickname and she shall henceforth be referred to as Cho. Her site is in the middle of nowhere, but she’s getting moved, so my fingers are crossed for her to be put in my province. We met up in Godric's Hollow, which we found to be an unimpressive city, although all we did was drink gin and tonics in the hotel.
ME: Annie!!!!!
AE: I learned from the best, Mother. Let’s have some more wine.
ME: Well, I guess just a little top off wouldn’t hurt. Glug, glug.
AE: The next day we took a bus to Beauxbatons which is about two hours north of Diagon Alley nestled in the Durmstrang Mountains. It really looks like a Swiss village, and the old medina is painted almost entirely blue, which has a very dreamlike effect on one’s time in the city.
ME: Then?
AE: We mainly just walked around, and I bought a lot of jewelry. After two days there, we went to Hogwarts, which I also found unimpressive. I’m very jaded. We were told the beach was too dirty to swim in, and we couldn’t stay awake late enough to go to any of the infamous discotheques. After two days there, we went to Little Hangleton, which is on the western coast, still in the north and is famous for being a cute beach town. It was okay. Some old stuff. And then I was supposed to stay with friends near Magnolia Crescent but they all bailed on me, so I took the liberty of letting Daddy Warbucks finance a hotel room for me on Saturday evening. And then Sunday morning I met up with my nagging, out of touch, aged parents and thank God because someone needed to wipe the drool off their chins.
ME: You ungrateful little pig.
AE: They told me about their hallucinations about traveling to India.
ME: I think this interview is over now. We are living it up in Magnolia Crescent and going out to eat in the medina tonight at one of those places where they meet you with a lantern because you could never find your way on your own. Tomorrow we drive to Diagon Alley ancha allah. Perhaps we will let Annie come with us. Or will we?
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