Correspondence

Dear Dylan,

If you
do not
keep your mittens on,
I will
superglue
them to
your hands.

Love,
Your Attendant

***

Dear Snuffy,

You ran
four miles
today.
And had
a play date
in the park.
Plus
any number
of walks.
If you ask to go out
one more time
I will put
you out
all right.
For the evening.
You can't get enough
of the snow
right?

Love,
Your Attendant

***

Dear Aaron,

I
would like
to be the sole member of the household
engulfed in an unfortunate
spasm
of work.
Could you please
move
your busy season
to June?
You cannot
pander to me
appropriately
if you
are also
stressed out.

Love,
Your wife

***

Dear House,

I cleaned you
two days ago.
Did it not stick?
Or what?

Love,
Your adversary