vertigo

I know starting this part of medical school is disorienting for everyone, but it is hard to describe how confusing this is. I last studied most of the things I am expected to know at least three years ago. I only actually know a few of my classmates, so I don't know a lot of other people who are doing this also. Plus, most of them started three months ago so they're not quite as new at this. I am constantly running into my old classmates who are mostly well into residency, and it makes both them and me wonder what I could possibly have been doing in the interim while they have been through years of training (something about...research). Plus I am still revising my dissertation, although after this week that is getting put on hold for a while so I can focus on one thing at a time. This is the fifth week I have been doing this and in that time I have worked with at least 10, probably more like 15 doctors, all of whom have different expectations of me. Each afternoon I start wondering how much time I will get to spend with Dylan, and I never know if it will be 2-3 hours or just a whirlwind before bed. Next week that is going to change to not knowing if I will see her at all some days, which is not going to go over well. So. Try to be nice to me when I can't remember where I parked the car or what day it is because I am in a general state of confusion right now.