Happy Halloween

You are welcome.

ready for my close-up

You know how you can get selected for extra security screening at the airport? And then they wand you? They don't use a wand anymore. And I would describe their technique as more...thorough. I don't know if I was looking particularly scruffy or particularly cute, but I don't think that was random.

***

We tried to have a family photo shoot today (I can hear Tyra Banks in the back of my mind, "You had a photo shoot...we asked you to convey the message that you are proud that you quit heroin, but just a little bit tempted by your old friends, and you remain wary of the police although you like their uniforms, while using only your neck...now let's look at your best shot") but it got rained out. It nearly killed Dylan that I made her let me pick out her clothes since I was trying to vaguely coordinate us. It did not actually kill her though, which would have been a problem.

***

Dylan remembers last year's pumpkin carving: Mommy, YOU MADE A BIG MESS. So she was all about painting the pumpkins. I convinced her with the reasoning that it is all but impossible to light a candle in a non-carved pumpkin, so we did a little tiny one. I get to go to their costume party today.

***

Dylan is in a class that, for the first time ever, does not make a big deal out of THESE ARE THE BOYS AND THESE ARE THE GIRLS AND THE BOYS ARE BEING WILD AND THE GIRLS GET THE PINK CUPS. I have really liked her teachers for the last couple years, but they all did it to a certain degree. This is so much better. It took Dylan a while to get used to, but really, it just seems healthier for the kids. She's having much less intense interactions with her best friends and I can tell she's playing with more kids. They don't start in on the boys until they're a little older, so I haven't seen much of this with Ollie yet.

more fall

Um, too far with the avoiding commercials?

"Mommy, the radio's making me want to buy things!"

"Oh no! What is it that NPR is making you want to buy?

"..."

brain dump

It occurs to me, Ollie + Elephant Ears = Olliphant

***

You know what is a surefire way to give your marriage a little stress testing? Deliberately enter into a situation where you are lost and both of you are carrying a child on your person.

***

First interview: complete. I was feeling all spiffy in my suit and then I joined the herd of other applicants in their black suits and it seemed somehow less spiffy and more of a way to tag us for either friendliness or avoidance, depending on your goals.

***

Dylan can do paint by numbers by herself. That just seems so functional of her.

***

You know what they do when you get a cheap rental car? They try to embarrass you by giving you a purple PT cruiser knockoff and then asking...hey, do you want a nicer car for a few more bucks? I am impervious to your efforts, enterprise.

- Posted from National airport on the way home from a trip to Michigan because WHY IS THE DIRECT FLIGHT $500?

a little help, please *updated*

We have a long and unsuccessful history of dragging Dylan into corn mazes. They all have puzzles and clues and map pieces that you pick up as you go through and as you know we are a mite tad compulsive around here and it hurts our very souls to enter into such an establishment without getting EVERY SINGLE CLUE, however long it takes. What we thought this year was, now that Dylan is old enough to know exactly how annoying it is to walk around a corn maze for an untold amount of time, and now that we've added yet another child to the mix, let's DO THIS AND DO IT RIGHT. So we did. Two hours worth of right.Aw, yeah.

Dylan was skeptical at first, because why were we bypassing ice cream and a bounce area and a playground and a giant slingshot and a hayride (you know how in Little People Big World [I assume you're all fans] the dad keeps adding pirate ship to fort to pumpkin launcher to whatever random image flits through his head to their farm and then people come visit and give them money? it's like that) to go wander around in there? We got her more deeply involved in the finding of the 12 map pieces and the taping of the pieces to the paper and that, along with a few strategic piggy back rides, did it for her. An hour and a half in we thought we might work our way out so she would have time to play and her first reaction was "BUT WE STILL HAVE TO FIND THE OTHER THREE PIECES." Good girl.

We did, ultimately, let her play.
But not before collecting all the twelve clues and getting the thirteenth from the market. We got most of the answers pretty easily and figured out the rest at home. The lucky thirteenth one was directions on how to put the mystery letters in order, which had theretoforth (<--totally a word) been the subject of little explanation. They were then clearly a simple substitution cipher and while we failed to find the key on the premises it was simply a matter of googling an automatic cipher-solver and there you have it and why didn't they have this kind of thing when I was a kid? Ahem.

Anyway, we're not sure about one of the clues. All the other answers are superstition kinds of things, like black cats and four leaf clovers. The clue for this one is "The first of Loafer, Marshall, and Nail." Is it just the letter L? For lucky? Is that a thing? Your opinions appreciated. There's a place to submit them online, and I assume we will win the $150 if we are correct.

I love this one because it looks totally fake even though it is not fake. Just cheesy.

She still steered clear of the goats. I think she had a minor scary incident with one when she was like two and can't quite seem to shake the feeling that there is nothing good to be had where goats are concerned. She told me she'll be okay with them when she's seven.

We won fall now, right?

*Update* I went and took a shower after I posted, which is always where I figure things out. I feel silly now, but I got it. How about you? Where you yelling through the computer at my thick head? Sorry, that must have been frustrating.

Halloween Preview

Not his costume, just what he was wearing when I picked him up the other day. I didn't recognize him because he was wearing different clothes than in the morning (don't ask) and had the ears flopped down over his face.
The family, in pumpkin form

Garbage Dude, with rig

Biker Chick

words on screen

Remember when I got to post every day? And I could carefully write and edit and crop and spend an hour or two on each post? Early Bleisenblog, I call it. I got upset when I went a day without posting. My writing was definitely better then. The status of my writing currently is along the lines of cave hieroglyphs. You know, those were pretty innovative, at the time. I'm a pioneer!

I would have continued to bombard you with picture posts slapped together with hardened mud (REALLY innovative now, combining the staying power of mud with the internet), but the blogger picture posting function is down for two hours, starting five minutes ago. So, words it is.

As usual when I'm this tired and I haven't been posting I mostly have the nagging feeling that I had something to tell you that I can't remember. For all I know, I may have been on the verge of re-inventing the wheel. Who's to know?

Here are some things I remember, from lately. Halloween! That's a thing, coming up. Dylan, it turns out, is creeped out by the whole "mermaid" thing, although she remains fascinated with Ariel. She prefers the part at the end, where she has legs. I wouldn't know much about it, as I have always found that movie SO BORING I have yet to sit through it. I ordered her a regular dress with a picture of Ariel on it and she's thrilled and she can wear it when it's not a costume also and I'm happy because it's neither a huge frilly thing nor a creepy mermaid/bikini thing.

Ollie. Is fantastic. He is happy and friendly and eats anything you put in front of him and he does that ridiculous muppet smile all the time and he has a whole bunch of words that come and go and he mimics sounds eerily well and he understands and is very responsive to much of what we say and he uses Dylan and his dump truck as walkers and he thinks all books should be kissed on every page and! He's been sleeping.

Dylan is, developmentally, in a stage right now that I call NOT GRUMPY. Like a regular person. Much better that way. She's happy and friendly at such times, and I think rather competent, for someone who's four. She's careful and deliberate and considerate and we've hammered a sense of humor into her and she's starting to understand some math and reading stuff pretty intuitively, and remains cheerful if you take her out of the house and keep her fed and exercised and adequately rested and don't attempt adult conversations in her presence. Not dissimilar to Snuffy, except he doesn't mind so much if Aaron and I talk to each other. Trying to have a focused conversation opens a spigot which causes an unending stream of words to come out of her mouth in random order until we just give up. Here is a lesson: it is physically very difficult to make someone else stop talking.

I am finishing up emergency medicine. I really like it. I don't think it's a missed calling or anything, but I wouldn't mind doing it on occasion.

At four, the children are introduced to the grind

sorry no filter or editing today...enjoy bath time, butt flaps, and faux hawks

j.crew models

This amuses me.


We both (me and Aaron, no children or dogs) read the new yorker profiles of the j.crew guy and the dyson guy (dyson). Actually being in a j.crew took on a whole new meaning. There's the red wing boots! And the ancillary watches! I wonder how those shirts are moving this season? Next up: admiring the design features of a row of vacuum cleaners at target.

- Posted from the emergency department because there are not a lot of patients at the moment

dogs, donuts

I can't believe I forgot to post these. One weekend day, not so long ago, our friend Kate showed up at our house at 7:30am, muttered something about dogs and donuts in the park in 20 minutes, and sped off. Some things you don't say no to so we trundled ourselves out of the house and there you have it. Ollie somehow knows what the good stuff is, like from his genes or something. Kate supplied the cookie monster and I procured the baby monster.