11 signs your trip to the fair may be headed in the wrong direction

1. The fair is held in the facility that normally houses the ski sale and the job expo.


2. The first thing you see when you walk in is the disaster-themed inflatable slide.Also available in: Katrina and World Trade Center varieties
   


3. There is No Food Allowed inside because the whole thing is considered a livestock area.


4. The dude guarding the bounce house has crotchless armor


5. There is nothing standing between you and the elephant besides a quarter-inch thick rope.


6. The llamas can reach around to the coin-operated feed dispensing machine, thus cutting out you, the middle man.


7. The llamas, incensed by your insistence on participating in their feeding, spit directly into your mouth.


8. Which feels like having manure injected into your sinuses.


9. Even three hours later.


10. Also, all over your clothes.


11. CAN'T. GET. CLEAN.