A building contractor of no small fame was known as the best contractor in the world. He could examine a set of blueprints, make a few calculations, and give an estimate that was precise to the penny and the hour of completion. Because of this, he had enough jobs lined up to last him for the rest of his life. The town fathers of a small community needed a new school built, but had VERY limited funds, and only three months to complete the project, so they decided to try out the famous contractor. Fortunately, the contractor's mother was from that very same town, so he consented to do the job for them. He arrived on the scheduled day, and examined the blueprints. Making a few calculations with a pencil stub, in a small notebook, he began to write out a list of what they would need to build the school. When he was finished, he gave the town fathers the list and the total cost for the job, which was just under the amount that they had allotted for the construction. They immediately gave their approval and the contractor began preparations. The next day, the crew arrived to begin the job. As the summer wore on, the school quickly took shape, and the town looked on in amazement as every board, nail, and bag of cement was used up by the crew, who NEVER called for more. On the exact day he had planned, the contractor and his crew finished the job. Walking around the site at the end of the day, making sure everything was just so, the contractor came upon an empty cement bag that had been left lying on the ground. He picked it up to throw in the dumpster and underneath it he found......A BRICK! Well, THIS was a first. He had never before had a single thing left over on any job. He held the brick in his hand and stared at it a moment. Then, to the surprise of all present, do you know what he did with the brick?
He threw it away.
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One day an older lady was riding the city bus, holding her very small, very nervous and neurotic dog on her lap, and sitting in the aisle seat. At a certain stop, a man about her own age got on the bus, and spotting the only empty seat left, next to the lady and her dog, squeezed past her and sat down by the window. They rode along for a while, and soon the man opened a bag from the deli, and pulled out a gigantic pickle, wrapped up in waxed paper. Upon seeing this, the little dog went crazy, barking and sneezing at the man. The lady tried to hold him and calm him, and said to the man, "Say, Mister, you can't eat that pickle now because my little FiFi is allergic to the smell, and it gives her fits." The man ignored her and began to unwrap his pickle. The lady, speaking a little louder, said again, "Excuse me sir, but I _said_ you can't eat that now, because it bothers my little dog." The man turned to her, still unwrapping his pickle, and said, "I don't really care what your dog likes or doesn't like. I haven't had my lunch, and I'm going to eat my pickle," and he took a huge bite. Well, the dog went berserk! She barked and sneezed and foamed at the mouth, and nearly tore herself out of the woman's grasp. "Sir, I MUST DEMAND THAT YOU STOP EATING THAT PICKLE, THIS VERY MINUTE," she shouted, over the dog. "IF YOU DON'T, I SHALL BE FORCED TO TAKE IT FROM YOU AND THROW IT OUT OF THE WINDOW!" Munching sedately, the man said, in a loud but calm voice, "Lady, if you so much as lay a finger on my pickle, I will take that yapping flea bag on your lap and throw IT out the window," and took another bite of his pickle, chewing contentedly.
True to her word, the woman reached over and twitched the pickle from the man's hand and flung it out the open window. The man chewed his mouthful of pickle and swallowed it, wiping his mouth and hands on a napkin. And, true to _his_ word, he grabbed the little dog by the scruff of the neck and threw IT out the window.
The bus chugged on and the woman went into hysterics, cursing at the man and threatening him with all sorts of vile treatment at the hands of her lawyers.
At the next stop, the bus pulled up and the doors hissed open. Standing there on the curb, wagging its tail and dragging its leash was the little dog. And do you know what it had in its mouth?
The BRICK!
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