Ugh

The test results were fine -- the baby is kicking and heartbeaty and all set to still not come out.

The test, however, was incredibly stressful due to the nurse from Ireland who would be nice as a delightfully kooky neighbor (she turned out to just about BE our neighbor as she lives on the next block over so we'll see if that is actually delightful), but was not delightful as a care provider because of her apparent intention of terrifying me.

She started out well enough, getting me hooked up to the monitor before she finished with another patient so that the test was over very quickly, although Aaron said he thought there was something a bit off about her even at first. Then once she realized I was past my due date she asked if anyone had talked to me about induction. Once I told her we had pushed the induction date back she asked me why I didn't want to be induced, didn't really listen to what I said (it really isn't that I have a problem with being induced per se), and then started ranting really quickly in a very difficult to understand accent about how she thinks inductions are a godsend and if she were like me (which, she pointed out twice, she most certainly is not), she would be induced right away, yesterday if possible. She showed me a chart of the last thirty years demonstrating when the c-section rate started to go up dramatically and said that that had happened when silly articles about the dangers of pitocin started to come out. Back in Ireland they didn't do c-sections thank you very much (she moved here in 1971, by the way), mostly because they induced everyone as soon as the pregnancy test came back positive. They also fed laboring women really well in Ireland, so I should make sure to stuff myself beforehand -- meat and potatoes preferably. Her own first birth experience was the most humiliating thing she has ever done and even though she had been a labor and delivery nurse for 4 years then why did she think she could get off easy.

Also, every patient she's ever seen go to 41 weeks has had plus or minus one million hours of excruciating back labor and judging from the looks of me and the way the baby is lying, that's what I'm in for. All of this while I am still strapped to the chair unable to move.

During the test they also monitor for any contractions you might be having, and that line remained sadly sadly flat the entire time.